Archive for the 'Pastors' Category
The phrase, “Don’t let the disappointment in a ‘few’ keep you from loving the ‘many’,” comes from a chapter in my book, 10 Things Every Minister’s Wife Needs to Know. In recent days, I’ve gone through a season of disappointment and I’ve had to remind myself of my own words. And unfortunately, I am pretty sure I will find myself there again in the future. You may say, well, that’s just ministry life. But it’s not. It’s everyone’s life, regardless of the occupation of your husband.
As minister’s wives, we can be tempted to withdraw or retreat, become bitter, give up, or be resentful of hurts. But when we do that, we end up lonely, isolated, and we miss the blessings of the “many” God has called us to serve and serve with. We sometimes determine in our hearts we will never allow ourselves to be put in that position again – we determine not to be vulnerable or transparent ever again. We tell ourselves it’s not worth the effort or the hurt. Unfortunately, that gets us nowhere in the eyes of others, or most importantly, with the Lord.
Withdraw and Retreat or Honor and Commend
So how are we to respond when we feel that keen disappointment in others? In my recent season, I deliberately decided to respond exactly opposite of how I felt on the inside. Rather than choosing to withdraw (my natural inclination) and retreat, I chose to take advantage of an opportunity to honor and commend others.
Rather than focusing on my personal disappointment, I asked the Lord to show me how I could be an encouragement to others.
What Godly Women Do
As I started to work on overcoming this season of disappointment, the Lord began to give me an actual list of attributes of the women I serve and serve with. This list included attributes from godly women of all ages and circumstances. My list reminded me I am not alone in this battle, and that others walk beside me in ministry life, also fighting the good fight.
This list included:
- Women who had walked by their husband’s side faithfully for many years of marriage and ministry.
- Women who are young moms, trying hard to raise godly children in the midst of our very challenging world.
- Women with aging parents, as they attempt to care for ALL family, immediate and extended.
- Women who do well at balancing work outside the home/family life/ministry life.
- Women who have overcome tough backgrounds before salvation.
- Women who had experienced miscarriages, and some who desperately desired to have a child.
- Women who struggle with physical challenges, from weight issues to severe allergies, to chronic illness with little hope for healing here on this earth.
- A woman who’d suffered the loss of a child and lived out faith in front of us – grief and hope mixed together, honoring the Lord with faith and longing for the promise of heaven.
- Extremely creative women and women with a sense of humor – destined to keep us laughing!
I acknowledged what I’d seen lived out in the lives of these women.
- Women of heart
- Women of depth
- Women of self-sacrifice
- Women of submission
- Women of integrity
- Women who are wise
- Women who juggle many balls with great grace
- Women with grateful hearts
- Women who love the church
- Women who recognize their God-given gifts and use them for His glory.
Without a doubt, if you’re reading this, you could very well come up with your own list, plus a few more based on your individual ministry life. These are women you do ministry life with – women you serve with – women you watch faithfully live out the life God has called them to.
3 Actions To Take When You Are Disappointed In Others
So what do we do when people disappoint us? This certainly is a reality I would not and cannot deny. I’ve been there too many times as a pastor’s wife and I’m sure I will return there again.
1. Pour out your heart to the Lord.
Above all, I pour out my heart to the Lord. I ask Him to help me not give up. I ask him to help me forgive. I sometimes ask a very trusted friend to pray for me. I seek His Word for help because I know He has the answers better than anyone else.
2. Do something tangible.
In this particular season of disappointment, I did something tangible. I determined to turn my focus from my own personal hurt to honoring and acknowledging some extraordinary women God has placed in my life! Disappointment in others can be very depleting of our energies. Honoring others is refreshing and renews us.
3. Trust God and His Word.
My final words to you who may be going thru a season of hurt or disappointment come from His Word. Trust God and His Word, like these words from Philippians 1:9-11, “This is my prayer for you: that your love will grow more and more; that you will have more knowledge and understanding with your love; that you will see the difference between what is important and what is not and choose what is important; that you will be pure and blameless for the coming of Christ; that your life will be full of the many good works that are produced by Jesus Christ to bring glory and praise to God.” (ERV)
Refuse to become so disappointed in people that it rocks your faith or commitment to Christ. Keep your eyes on Jesus. God will see you through.
Unforgiveness is the #1 obstacle to the next great move of God in your life, your church and our nation. Almost every person has been affected by unforgiveness in some way or another. Either we have held a grudge or known a relationship hindered by someone who refused to forgive. Churches, friendships, and fellowship have been ruptured by wounds, unforgiveness, and bitterness.
For many years, I have pastored local churches, and am convinced that the #1 obstacle to the next great move of God in the church and in the nation is the sin of unforgiveness. Nothing has built a taller, deeper, and thicker wall in the hearts of people and in the churches of our land.
God Does Forgives Us
Human relationships fractured by unforgiveness are damaging, to be sure. What about our need for God’s forgiveness? Is God forgiving? Can anything be done if we have offended Him?
Thankfully, God has not left us in the dark. Yes, we have offended God, and yes, He will forgive.
The Bible is clear in both the Old and New Testaments that we have sinned against God. Jeremiah laments on behalf of his kinsmen in Israel, “Let us lie down in our shame; let our disgrace cover us. We have sinned against the LORD our God, both we and our fathers, from the time of our youth even to this day. We have not obeyed the voice of the LORD our God.”1 The Psalmist wrote even more broadly, “The LORD looks down from heaven on the human race to see if there is one who is wise, who seeks after God. All have turned away; all alike have become corrupt. There is no one who does good, not even one.”2
Yet, God forgives us. We are grateful!
How Can God Ever forgive?
We are not let off the hook in the New Testament. “Therefore, just as sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin, in this way death spread to all men, because all sinned.”3 Humanity has a problem, and that problem is the sin that separates us from God.
How can God ever forgive? Only through the sacrificial death and resurrection of His Son, Jesus Christ. As Peter and John told the religious leaders of their day, “There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to people, and we must be saved by it.”4
What about those who have already accepted Christ? Is there forgiveness for the many sins we commit between the time we are saved and the time we leave this earth? Does God forgive the forgiven? Thank God, the answer is yes.
The Bible says, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” 5 Those of us who have believed in Christ are forgiven at salvation and forgiven as we are made more and more like Christ. This is one reason we are encouraged to forgive others. We need to experience the ongoing forgiveness of God that restores our fellowship with Him.
Therefore, Forgive Others
Since God so freely and sacrificially forgives us, we should forgive others. Friends, never let anyone outside of your circle of love. Forgiveness is imperative in the life of a Christ follower. Therefore, walk in forgiveness toward others.
Refuse to Let Unforgiveness in the Church
I realize calling upon us to refuse to let unforgiveness in the church is a big request. But if we let unforgiveness abide in the church, we are telling God we do not want Him to intervene in His church. We need to call people to account to one another, even pastors to their people, and the people to the pastor, if any unforgiveness is prevailing.
Call Upon Our Nation to Forgive Each Other
It is very concerning to think how much unforgiveness is prevailing in America presently. It is just wrong. Anger is raging and criticism is never ceasing. We need our nation to live with forgiveness toward one another.
Now is the Time to Lead,
Ronnie W. Floyd
1 Jeremiah 3:25
2 Psalm 14:2-3
3 Romans 5:12
4 Acts 4:12
5 1 John 1:9